That One Thing
In 1999, I realized I had spent too much of my life chasing things.
- If I could get a better job, I wouldn’t worry so much
- If things were more stable, I wouldn’t be so upset
- If I had a relationship, I wouldn’t be so lonely
- If I had more time, I’d be more relaxed
- Once my son moves out on his own, I’ll start to do this or that
- Once I decide what to do about my relationship, I’ll be happier
- I’ll work on my novel when I’ve got more time
- I’ll love this person once they get their shit under control
Then, after a time, I realized my thought patterns went against what I was teaching the staff at the group homes I worked at in order to enjoy their job and do it properly.
I learned very early on that there would always be “That kid.” You know, the one that is the problem in the house. The one who takes all of the staff attention. The one who that staff say “If we’d just kick him out, thing would run smoothly.” I was in that mindset when I started in Juvenile Justice as well and ti took a few years before I realized:
There’s always That Kid. Once you kick out That Kid, another one slides into the role.
So, I taught people to find something about that kid that you liked. Something that made them someone you could deal with because if you don’t find SOMETHING to like about the client, you won’t be doing them any good and your shifts will be unbearable.
It’s the same in your life. One problem gets in the way of what you think will be your perfect life, but once your resolve that problem, another one slides in. And if you don’t find something to like about your life, you won’t be doing yourself any good and your life will be unbearable.
That’s why you have to decide to live the life you want despite the issues. Get the help for your issues instead of thinking a circumstance will fix it. Reach out to your support network for the love and strength you need now, now when it’s “calmed down” a bit. Love unconditionally NOW instead of waiting for the other person to make some sort of change. When you learn to enjoy where you are in the moment, the problems you face will shrink and your enjoyment of life will grow.
Much love to friends old and new, and I hope that you decide to live the life you want despite That One Thing.