A little about me so that Homeland Security has something to arrest me for
I read over the weekend that the Border Patrol was taking people phones and looking at their Facebook posts to determine if they were a risk or not, and it is alleged that the Trump Administration is looking for the authority to read people’s Facebook statuses to see “where they are, politically.”
So, since I want to be a good citizen, I am going to make it easy for those tracking me, so here are the main things I like or believe in:
- Pizza is one of the best foods on the planet
- Pie is the best food on the planet
- I’m a friendly atheist, after going through an angry atheist period.
- I’m a liberal in the mode of Paul Wellstone, Harry Truman and Bartcop. Not a Democrat, a liberal.
- I am a friend to creative people. Artists, writers, dancers, singers, anyone who does creative stuff
- Christina Hendricks is darn pretty. As is Kate Micucci.
- I like-a da comic books.
- No, really, I love pie. Pie is great
- I do not wish they all could be California girls
- I think the current “President” is a short fingered vulgarian and have though that since 1988.
- Diet soda makes me go. Hot Tea is my favorite drink.
- I drink rarely because I work all of the time. In fact, not a day goes by that I am not asked to take on more hours and more shifts.
- I mean, have you seen the picture of Christina Hendricks in a corset? Great Googley Moogley, the only picture I’ve seen that takes my breath away more involved a chef in a bikini.
- I help people because I feel we are in in this together and the only thing that can fix the state of the world is us, doing small things to help each other.
- I need pie as soon as possible.
- I believe in punching Nazis. Nazi ain’t got no humanity. They’re the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin’, mass murderin’ maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. And the Nazi won’t not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives.
- OK, I won’t do any of that stuff, but damn but I love Quinten Tarentino’s writing.
- I like crime novels, detective novels, literary novels and pulp stuff. I don’t read much SF and Fantasy any more because it seems like everything is part of an on-going series.
- I like professional wrestling, art films, TV shows like Justified and Deadwood, comedies like Kimmy Schmidt and The Good Place and Dawn of the Dead and Blue Velvet are my favorite movies.
- That bikini pic? Best Work of Art ever.
- I judge people by their e-mail service. AOL? Really?
- I like kind people. I will put up with selfish people, I eliminate narcissists, racists, and users from my life. We’re all flawed, but when those flaws become hurtful to myself or the people I care about, I walk away. I forgive everyone, and have been willing to pay the price for that.
- I also judge people on how they treat wait staff and if they wait for people to get OFF the elevator before they try to get ON.
- Really, if you want me to be your friend, send me pie. I’ll do pretty much anything for pie. Everything the things I won’t do for love.
Hopefully, this is enough for our new Russian Overlords to know me and I am not brought in for “enhanced interrogation*. If not, can any of my foreign friend hide me in their attic for a few years?